EHarmony And Other Online Dating Sites

Recently, I signed up for Eharmony. I signed up for Plenty Of Fish last year but didn’t stay with it. I went back to POF before signing up with eharmony. The main reason for this decision was because the men I was meeting on POF were really only looking for hookups which I’ve no interest in. Some were looking for recreational partners and while there is nothing inherently wrong with that I don’t want to put myself in a position of developing feelings for someone who isn’t on the same page. With any new relationship, there is the risk of not having feelings returned but I see no sense in putting myself in a place where they’re less likely to be returned. Last year I tried OkCupid but found it was primarily for hookups as well(basically men only looking for sex) so I decided on eharmony. I used it once before and didn’t get any matches. Perhaps I didn’t broaden my scope enough. I don’t remember. That was about ten years ago. This time I left it in my country rather than just state.

The downside to eharmony is that most of my matches(and the ones that choose to correspond with me) are at least two hours away which isn’t too bad but most are much farther away. That can be a problem because I’ve no desire for a long distance relationship. Of course, I could meet someone and it could work just fine provided the relationship didn’t pan out for too long a period of time before we make arrangements to live in the same town. I also understand that if I meet someone hundred’s of miles away and we want to make the relationship work that one or both of us may have to move to the other and that person will most likely be me.

Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself here. I’ve just signed up. For now, I’ll focus on the fact that my matches are not in my hometown. When I say hometown, an hour away isn’t a big deal. Even two hours isn’t bad as long as the other person is willing to meet somewhere in between. I travel a lot and love to drive and have the ability to do so. For some people, this will be a big issue. Especially, for those with 9 to 5 jobs and kids. This will hinder them tremendously. The upside to eharmony is they do compatibility matches so you are not wading through the jungle with no direction hoping that whoever you meet will be compatible. Just because you’re matched through an algorithm doesn’t mean that when you meet there will be chemistry and attraction but there is a better chance than doing it on your own.

I was watching a video on youtube from Evan Marc Katz(dating coach) which recommends going on at least one date a week. Your chances of meeting someone for marriage/long term relationship is much better that if you don’t date but a few times a year. I realize now I wasted a lot of time on men that didn’t deserve me and didn’t date nearly enough. If I had met someone ten or fifteen years ago I’m sure I’d be divorced now. I grew up in a dysfunctional home which led to dysfunctional relationships/friendships and now I have to try and undo all of that. And now that I’m nearly 50(I still feel 30, I don’t understand this chronological age thing) it’s a lot harder. Just google women finding love over 50 and the results are dismal so I know I have to be realistic. It’s not going to be as easy as when I was 30.

I can’t stress enough to those women in their 20’s and 30’s that now is the time to start really looking and going on a lot of dates in an effort to find Mr. Right. Even if you don’t want to get married right now if you think one day you will want to have a family then your 20’s is the time to start. By the time you find someone you will be older. As the old saying goes you will probably have to kiss a lot of frogs(you may kiss a few years worth of frogs) before finding the prince. I know many women want to concentrate on careers but finding someone especially as you get older is a full-time job. Besides, I’m of the mindset that you can do both and no one said you have to get into a relationship. In fact, the dating process is about having fun, building your socialization skills, making friends and finding someone for a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there that shouldn’t have been let out of the institution let alone allowed to get into the institution of marriage.

If you grew up in a dysfunctional home, your 20’s is the time to seek counseling. It will be a lot easier to undo the damage at 20 than at 40.

If I could do it over I know I would have spent a lot more time trying to find Mr. Right. The downside is that because my childhood was so dysfunctional followed by dysfunctional relationships that I wouldn’t have been suitable for anyone. Because of this, I lost the opportunity to have children. By the time I met my ex-husband(we were never legally married but lived together for 10 years) at 39 I settled and had long since given up on love. I didn’t know why my relationships didn’t work out. I had no idea what was wrong. It wasn’t until my ex and I went to therapy that she told me that dysfunctional attracts dysfunctional and until I can change that I will never have a healthy romantic relationship. Now I’m working on myself as best I can. My therapist(she’s now retired and I have a new male therapist) told me not to date and stay away from the opposite sex for a minimum of 5 years. I’m not too thrilled with that idea and I know that avoiding dating until I’m 55 or older is also ridiculous. It also sets me up for getting into another bad relationship because I believe long periods of no affection and loneliness lead into these bad experiences.

I’ve decided that I will both. I will work on myself first and meeting someone will be secondary. It could take 5 years to meet the man I’ve wanted my entire life and by then my work will be coming to an end. And I might not meet anyone or I could get into yet another relationship that fails. There’s no way to know what the future holds.

Once again I got way off course from the intended topic of online dating sites. This said it’s too early to say whether I’ll have success or not. So far, I like eharmony better than the others I’ve tried now or in the past. In the past, I’ve used match.com with no success.

Visit my other blogs at 5Ve which is my haunted blog, Haunted Abandoned CarolinasCypress-Willow BlogMy Free Personal Blog and you can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..

Being Hit On Outrageously By A Man

The inspiration for this post came from an incident this morning at Walmart. And like many of my other stories, this one is a doozy although not as outrageous as some. I posted this message on a couple of different forums to garner some feedback.

Ok, I’m not sure if this is where this belongs but I wanted to get some input. Just a little background. I’m currently traveling(Oklahoma) and do all the time for business, etc.
So today in Walmart a guy(20 yrs younger) hits on me. Summed up, “I’m married with 2 kids, wife’s not giving me any so why don’t you give me some? But first, gotta get drugs. My dealer just walked in the store.” This is nothing new. Some are way more outrageous. I’m attractive for late 40’s but this ridiculous. It’s getting worse as I get older. Last yr I had a guy stop me while I was walking and wanted to know if I’d go to his apt with him and one the most outrageous was a guy in Utah who stopped by my car(I was in front of an abandoned building looking at something on my phone), we chat then he asks me to dare him to walk to the building naked. He then gets out of his car and starts taking his clothes off. I wish him well and drive away. Later I tell this to a man I know and he says, “OMG, that is the most outrageous way I’ve heard of a man hitting on a woman. When this happens I’m not smiling, looking around, as if I’m open to even being approached. And I’m not some celebrity model lookalike. And it doesn’t matter what I say, I can say anything, I could say I was satan, no matter how bad, they’re only more enamored. Unfortunately, I don’t attract the right kind of relationships either(but that’s a whole other story and they’re almost, if not more outrageous). So I’m wondering, do I have a neon sign on my forehead? Or does this happen to everyone else too? Or maybe it’s the shock factor….Just trying to understand this behavior. Everyone around me(my therapists especially) think I should write a book. Admittingly, everyone would be rolling on the floor. So, do other women encounter this too?

As expected I didn’t get very many replies. Only on Hubpages did I get a couple. I can surmise that other women have never experienced this so have nothing to offer or it does and they don’t wish to discuss it. Either way, I’m thinking I must be some kind of anomaly. The replies I did get pointed out that I must be somehow to blame for these occurrences just as rape victims somehow caused their assault. It was pointed out Walmart is a seedy place, therefore, I’m encouraging bad behavior by simply being in such an unworthy environment. Or I must have been dressed provocatively to encourage the men.

Does anyone else notice the paradigm here? If you are a woman and you are the subject of bad behavior or worse the victim of a crime then it is somehow your fault. But flip the coin, if this were a man, she would be a crazy b*tch.

Of course, none of this solves my predicament and that is trying to figure out why the oddballs are attracted to me. I am approachable I”ve been told and I’m certainly not going to be rude to men I don’t know. I’m going to be polite as that is the safest route to take. It’s easier to say something they will find a complete turnoff and send them running in the opposite direction or bore them to death although this isn’t easily done with these kinds of men. Just today, when I was in subway getting my sandwich I was chatting with the women that worked there and one accurately pointed out, there are a lot of cuckoo(her words) people around. The other was hit on a man 20+ years older than she, a man she had no interest in and told him a pile of BS(she had 5 or 6 kids, multiple divorces, etc.) but it was no deterrent. These kinds of men aren’t easy to get rid of.

I also wonder if it could be the shock factor or perhaps there’s another motive or it’s that I just attract weirdos. Whatever it is, I’ve no answers.

My other blogs are Haunted Abandoned Carolinas5VeCypress-Willow BlogSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger and you can read my articles at Hubpages…..Peace…..

Hacker Warfare

I’ve spent the better part of the last few days changing all of my passwords, the ones I was able to regain control of, because someone went into my accounts. Quite a number of them. This isn’t the first time. My accounts such as email, ebay(other auction and shopping sites), paypal, social media, my websites, affiliate programs, dating profiles, etc. have been hacked into many times. At first it was primarily ebay, paypal and email when I was selling items. Later ebay and paypal were hacked for the purpose of buying goods and charging it to my credit card on file with paypal. Luckily, paypal and ebay caught it very quickly. On one occasion almost all of my accounts were hacked. This time alot of them were. Sometimes only one or two accounts will be hacked into and other times many will suffer.

When it first happened paypal told me to make sure the passwords were different for each site. I followed that advice but the accounts have been tampered with anyway.

After this last attack, I remembered my ex housemate had a couple of my passwords. Primarily because when I lived there he would use my streaming/shopping accounts. He and his son had access even after I left because I knew how much they enjoyed streaming services. I’m not saying either one of them are responsible, anyone could be but I’ve no way to know if my ex housemate’s son accessed the accounts from his mother’s and/or gave them the passwords. For that matter, my ex housemate could have given my streaming passwords to his girlfriend so she wouldn’t have to pay for the services. My ex husband has passwords for accounts we share. Quite frankly, until this last episode I really didn’t think about it. Since most of my passwords are different I didn’t think it was an issue. Unfortunately, my passwords aren’t as strong as they should be and I have a rather unique way of keeping track of my passwords so I can remember them. One that might give a diligent hacker an easy way into the accounts. I tried writing them down a few years ago but that got me into trouble too when a man living with my dad and me found the notebook with my passwords and decided to help himself.

Unfortunately, there’s no foolproof way of keeping someone out of accounts that want in them badly enough. I’ve even heard of software now that can run hundred’s maybe thousand’s of password combination a minute.

Since then I’ve changed all of my passwords. Something that angered my ex housemate. I understand they like to stream but I explained that I’m not paying for his son’s mother, step siblings, his girlfriend or anyone they choose to give the password to get free services. Then I remembered a time long ago when my ex housemate told me he had all of my passwords as well as my financial information. At the time I attributed it to beer talk since he’s had a few.

There is a link at the bottom of this article on how attackers hack into an account. There is one point they didn’t touch on and that is, some accounts that are hacked into are not by strangers in foreign countries but rather someone they know which makes it that much easier to know personal information. Another big no-no is using someone else’s computer. We all know when using a public computer to log out of every account that is accessed but sometimes the user runs out of time and in unable giving the next user access. The computer won’t give the password away but the person might be able to figure it out. If using someone’s personal computer the threat is much higher. Even if you instruct the computer not to save the password there could be keylogging software running in the background and you’ve no way of knowing it. Also allowing someone access to your computer/devices could allow them to snoop when you’re not looking. When I was at my ex housemate’s I often used his personal computer. There was not likely anything nefarious going on but if he were using keylogging software he could have easily captured every single password to every site I went to including my bank and other very personal sites. He could certainly look over my browsing history to see which sites I accessed. You’d be surprised at just how much information people give away on personal sites and knowing someone well can help make the links easier. I also allowed him to use my computer when his was down and gave him a tablet I didn’t like. My ex husband has used my devices on numerous occasions.

Nonetheless, I’ve changed all of my passwords and hope no one else figures out what they are.

Here’s a good article on Hacker Warfare. It doesn’t really fit your everyday hacker gaining access to email and social media accounts but it’s worth reading. 5 Facts Explain The Threat Of Cyber WarfareMark Zuckerberg’s Twitter, Pinterest Accounts Hacked, Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey’s Account Compromised By Hackers these last two show you anyone can be hacked. How Attackers Actually Hack Into Accounts is a good article on how to protect yourself. Techlicious offers some great advice too.

Old Cemeteries, The Paranormal Morphed Into Personal Post

What was supposed to be a post about old cemeteries and on my blog Haunted Abandoned Carolinas turned out to be mostly a bunch of ramblings and talking about the paranormal. I have no idea now which cemetery that picture was taken in. I’m going to assume it’s one in Missouri, however.

Today I wasted alot of time driving around and never did find anything I really wanted to stop and photograph. My head really wasn’t with it.  It was more about the driving than anything else. Finally, I realized I needed to fax some documents off and needed to find an office supply store. Had to drive thirty miles to find what I was looking for.

There’s an old cemetery that is allegedly haunted in the area I was in but by the time I got done it was getting late and the traffic was getting bad and I decided to just forget it. I usually find cemeteries I want to photograph by simply driving on U.S. or state highways rather than interstates or looking them up online. They may not necessarily be haunted but many are quite beautiful.

I’m still trying to get my head together after the last post about striking out without anyone. I’ve never really had any one. I mean NO ONE. No one to talk to, no one to turn to, no one to get advice from, no one to share things with and that is a very difficult concept. It’s not easy to strike out having no one and knowing there’s no one but yourself to rely on. I’ve always had to rely on just myself but having no one to talk to about anything is not easy. But that’s what I’m faced with. And like with all loss there’s grief. For me, there’s still the lagging grief of losing my parents probably because they’re the only family I had. The loss of a place to live, I lost that a few months ago but it’s still with me, the loss of a friend I care alot about and coming to the realization that it’s time to let this one go. Like with all male/female relationships sooner or later they have to come to an end. When they’re friendships you can keep them alot longer sometimes but when a new man or woman comes into the persons life it’s time to let it go. Not too many women or men appreciate their spouses/significant others having opposite sex friendships unless they too want to pursue a friendship with the person. While I have no statistics on this I’m pretty sure most people expect those friendships to come to an end. Afterall, the friend is entering a new chapter in his/her life and it doesn’t usually include past opposite sex friendships especially if those friendships were originally boyfriend/girlfriend relationships that didn’t work out for whatever reason.

I’ve lost other things too but these are the big ones, the ones that mean the most and the ones I have to let go of the most. But facing the world living off the grid and mobile with no family, no friends and no one to turn to is an arduous, demanding task. It’s one I’m not sure I’m up to but it’s also something that has to be concluded like it or not.

So what does all this have to do with old cemeteries? Other than the concept that my soulmate might be buried in one. Well, really nothing, other than the fact it’s what keeps me going. As I said in the last post I’m not sure what’s leading me in this direction once more. I’ve always had an interest in cemeteries and have been photographing them for awhile. Back in the summer, I would try to find one every night to have communion with the dead and take pictures. But let me be clear, I don’t go to cemeteries trying to contact the dead. I simply go there to be at peace and take pictures. The bible strictly prohibits communion with the deceased. Not that if I wanted to do so I would pay it much attention but I do believe in the ability to open doorways to other dimensions and since I have no way to know what might come through that portal I feel it best for my own safety and peace of mind to leave it alone and discourage it for those who think it’s a good idea.

This is one reason I’ve declined several offers to become a part of paranormal groups. I believe in the supernatural but I don’t believe in contacting the spirits in an effort to banish them. When a place is truly haunted how do I know if the spirits that inhabit it’s halls are that of the deceased that once lived there or more sinister entities? In essence how do I know these apparitions aren’t really demons?

Science says ghosts do not exist and you will find no scientist that supports it. Biblical scholars and religious people alike don’t support it instead stating emphatically that what is being seen are demons pretending to be the deceased. This may be true and it might not be. There is no scientific proof to support either theory. Until then, people are going to come down on whatever side their heart, upbringing, science and/or the bible tells them.

Until then, I’m just going to enjoy photographing cemeteries and be wary in those that are said to be haunted.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..

 

Single And Lonely

I read this article 10 Heartbreaking Truths Single People Never Talk About and it made me cry.

Maybe because I too know what it’s like to be lonely. Due to my circumstances I don’t think I ever felt achy but there are times when it definitely hurts and depression is more pronounced. And reading about how it’s my fault that I’ve never met the right man doesn’t make me feel better. Being told that all I need to do is change my mindset and I’ll meet Mr. Right-And-Wonderful and that my failed relationships are the result of something missing within me don’t help either.

It’s true, no one that has never gone through loneliness knows what it feels like. No one can know the ache and the need that wells up inside of you and how there are days you just sit and cry. Again, being told that I’m not doing enough to meet the right guy or yet more changes need to be made isn’t helping. The majority of this well intended advice comes from people already married or paired up with a life partner. People that have never had a problem meeting people or making a relationship last can understand what it feels like to be single and lonely. No one can understand what it’s like when you’ve tried and tried again and fell down again and again. And the old adage, “Get up, try and try again” doesn’t work so well when you’ve been through one heartache after another. And you know deep down there is nothing inherently wrong with you. You’re a good person who is kind, honest, loyal, loving and has the ability to love someone deeply but no one gives you the chance. And someone telling you, “you just have to keep trying” isn’t much of a help especially when that advice is coming from a man you’re in love with and you want to scream, “well, since I possess all these good qualities and you’ve confirmed I’m loving and loyal then why is it you don’t want me?” And yes, I’m aware there has to be attraction but, “you are attracted to me”.

Most importantly, loneliness leads you to make poor choices but how poor can they be if you finally met someone who is sticking around?

In my case I met my ex husband at a time in my life when I was very loneliness although I was blissfully unaware of it. I’d lost my mother a short time earlier and my dad’s health was declining and I had no other family. My dad fought to live when he probably should have died because he worried about me and what would happen when he passed away because he knew I’d be all alone. The grief of losing the one man I knew I could always count on is still fresh even though it’s been six years. That’s something else no one understands until they’ve lost a parent.

I’d never intended to be anything more than friends when I met my ex husband but convenience, companionship and loneliness brought us together and we stayed together until I could no longer tolerate his alcoholism and I left to live in my car. Later a friend of his invited me to stay with him to get my business together and we ended up in a relationship, again unintended and probably the only reason I got into another was loneliness. I eventually left due to circumstances that are better left to another post.

In both circumstances I was lonely and I often beat myself up about this but it’s a human desire to crave love, affection and touch. No one can understand what it’s like to go months without even a hug. And know if you died that day no one would even know let alone miss you. That’s a very bitter pill to swallow. And it can lead to bad decisions. Such was the case for me.

If you’ve never been through the heartbreaking physical symptoms of loneliness and depression you can’t begin to understand it’s effect. And you are definitely in no position to tell anyone what you think they should be doing. Until you’ve experienced the grief that goes along with loneliness and losing all family members you can’t speak about something you know nothing about.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace….

 

Dealing With An Alcoholic

I’ve been on a roll lately writing about christian dating and being a good wife and today after writing a less sarcastic post than the one before deciding today to switch gears and write about something I know more about. I’ve been loathe to write about this because it’s a difficult topic and I have to dig deep to get through the article without flailing.

One website dedicated to recovery is Discovery Place and has this article THE SECRETS TO HELPING AN ALCOHOLIC FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND. The other is How To Help An Alcoholic Family Member.

Two of the main reasons it is so difficult for me is that my dad(now deceased) was an alcoholic and my ex husband is an alcoholic. My dad couldn’t hold the light to my ex husband’s drinking and I know firsthand how much of a manipulator he is and how he took advantage of my goodwill especially when he wanted a drink. He will go for weeks or months without drinking then hit a runner and drink for days, weeks or even months without letting up. His drinking is the reason I finally left and why I’m now facing alot of truths I never faced before.

The site offers some good advice but I have to disagree with this statement “The majority of alcoholics will not sober up, or consider getting sober, unless faced with serious life consequences.” My ex husband refused to sober up even after the power was turned off, he had no water, no plumbing and no food. He did sober up only because he had no money for it. But he would just sit at the window and stare out of it for hours on end blaming me because I’d left and went to live with a friend of his. At the time his friend offered me a place to live I was living in my car and had been for a year and a half after leaving him. Unfortunately, I’m back living in my car but that’s another story.

I would consider his losing everything hitting rock bottom but perhaps not. And he’s refused to go to AA or get help of any kind.

The one thing my ex husband could do and still does is push buttons. As one friend commented, “You are way beyond button pushing, the dial is turned on high and you automatically go to that setting.” He’s right. The alcohol angers and frustrates me more than anything else. Maybe partly because I had no control with my dad and couldn’t voice my feelings with him because depending on what he was drinking I stayed out of the way. He was verbally abusive and one stone’s throw away from being physically violent if things didn’t go his way. And when he was drinking nothing went his way. Much like my ex husband.

Dealing with an alcoholic is physically and mentally exhausting. When I lost my last place to live I lived with my ex husband for a few weeks because I had no place to live other than my car. After awhile it was so exhausting listening to him complain all night long and his verbal abuse that I got in my car about seven at night and left. With nowhere to go and angry I drove until I was too exhausted to keep driving and fell asleep in a rest area. At first, it was hard. This car wasn’t as comfortable as the last one that I’d lived in for a year and a half. So for the first week or two I had a hard time adjusting. But after a few weeks I got used to it. Even though the car was nearly as big as my last one and was the same as another I’d lived in off and on it was a rather difficult adjustment especially after having a home for a year. Nonetheless, I had to get used to it. And now I’m on my own road trying to figure out how I’m going to get out of this mess. Right now, my car is home and I have to be content with it.

It’s not an easy road when an alcoholics behavior has an extremely negative impact on another’s life and is even worse when the alcoholic doesn’t understand or care what his/her actions have done. But the alcoholic won’t take responsibility for his conduct. He doesn’t even recognize that his alcoholism has any repercussions for another. He thinks it’s everyone else’s problem but this isn’t true. His actions have consequences for those around him.

An alcoholic can’t stop with one glass of wine or beer. They can’t stop until it’s gone. And if they’re anything like my ex they won’t stop for days or weeks. I go into this further in my next post.

To sum up, it’s hard getting an alcoholic to own his actions and get help. They have a bunch of excuses as to why they don’t need help and usually involves it being other people’s problem not their own or like my dad blaming my mother saying she drove him to drink. This was always his justification.

My best recommendation is to seek help from a licensed therapist and go to al anon meetings. I’ve been to a therapist but I’ve yet to be to an al anon meeting.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..

How To Be A Good Wife Seriously

I’ve spent the better part of two hours trying to figure out what is causing a roar from the rear end of my car. It may be the brakes and on my next oil change at the dealership I will have them check it. My point being, I’m at a loss for the cause and have decided to move on to another topic. One that I know as much about as overhauling an engine.

Before I start, I love this article, if you haven’t read Scary Mommy’s Version on how to be a good wife do read it.

Not that I haven’t been a wife. Albeit what I call an illegal one since we were never legally married. That doesn’t change anything. We still lived together for seven years as husband and wife.

Part of the reason I got to this particular topic was my male friend. When I first came to live with him he said he would teach me how to be a wife because I was never legally married I didn’t know how to be one. Well, he fell down on his duty, he never stepped up to the plate to be the teacher he said he could be. Later when I asked him about it he said I didn’t want to be a wife.

Now this brings me to the question, how does one teach another to be a wife? According to him he was going to teach me to cook, clean, take care of the house, etc. Since I was “unteachable” I should look it up on google and watch youtube videos. According to him, this is all I need. So I went about researching this topic and all I came up with was being a GOOD wife. I didn’t ask how to be a good wife just a wife. Since I have no desire to marry why would I want to be a good one?

According to Roomy the need to cook and clean is all I need. So is this true? Is this the main request from men? That their wives be able to cook, clean and be their maid? Doesn’t this sound like the 1920’s or 1930’s?. That’s something else I’m not interested in.

I digress, back to the point at hand, how to be a wife. Since I have no willing participant to practice my search engine skills on I’ll have to drag my Ken doll and Teddy bear out of the trash. It’s a good thing they won’t have to eat my cooking. Nor will they know if my car is messy(that’s my home, where I’ve been living for awhile). Oh wait, where am I supposed to cook any meals? Maybe I could learn to cook in my car without catching it on fire or blowing it up. Hmmm, I’m not sure about this one. Let’s move on to cleaning. I can’t use a mop, broom, cleaning supplies and have no kitchen or bathroom so don’t have to worry about cleaning those things. Okay, what does that leave? Since Ken Doll and Teddy Bear didn’t give any feedback on the fish I tried to fry in the car(it’s a sedan, btw) and even though I came close to blowing my car up and singed Ken’s hair and burned Teddy’s fur they still didn’t say anything. So test number one: Passed. Next, I thought using bleach and ammonia on the carpet of the car and mopping it like a floor would leave it nice, clean and sanitized. Instead I woke up with sore throat and barely able to breathe and had to make a visit to the local ER. The emergency room personnel thought it was my sick way of trying to get high and tried to get me to enter a drug rehab program run by an actor/comedian for the dumb and dumber. It’s a wonder I didn’t die from pneumonia since I had to leave all four car windows down for over a week in the freezing cold to get the smell out and keep from dying from my serious cleaning concoction. Who knew mixing bleach and ammonia was bad for you? Neither Ken Doll or Teddy Bear said anything. I guess it didn’t bother them. Test number two: Passed with flying colors.

So what else is there? I’ve learned to cook and clean and get no complaints.

That brings me to article one I found online. Blonde, skinny and hot, fits Ken Doll to a tee. The wife list is actually for the gals but since it’s under the good wife search it qualifies to be here. I can watch football on free wifi while chugging back beers. I’m not blonde but Ken doesn’t mind. It’s actually a pretty good article for men. I know a few that could really use reading the The Good Wife List. In all honesty most men wouldn’t know a good woman if she walked up and smacked them in the face.

Here’s another excellent search from google: The Good Wife Guide 2014. This came on the heels of the Clooney nuptials so excellent reading on how to be a good wife. Since it appears they are still married(I don’t follow celebrities) she must have read the good wife guide.

I just mastered Engagement Chicken car cooking style with a little shampoo accidentally thrown in and Ken nor Teddy minded. I call this a good sign if I can stand the messy, rotted odor that’s taken over my car. A tip: A whole bottle of febreze and a whole roll of paper towels don’t get rid of the smell and overbearing waft that comes from spoiled meat. Of course the fact I passed out from drinking a whole bottle of Jack Daniels didn’t help the situation.

I give the author credit where it is deserved. There are no glaring, “Make HER Marry You” articles for men. To this I say, “Right on girl.” Someone needed to say it.

And last but not least, my personal favorite: 8 Signs You May Not Make A Good Wife. Selfish? Ken and Teddy don’t mind. Although I wouldn’t consider myself so. I apologized for the scorched hair and mind boggling aromas that have taken over my car. Jealous? Absolutely not. I don’t mind if other people play with my Ken Doll as long as they give him back when they’re done. And no one wants to play with Teddy Bear so I have nothing to worry about. Materialistic? They got me on this one. But there’s one caveat: I want to win the lottery all on my own, I don’t want him winning it for me. Low libido? They didn’t say anything about one being too high. I surely haven’t found myself or have I?

I’ve read several articles on being a good wife and in honesty don’t see how any of it relates to me. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent too much time talking to my Ken Doll or Teddy Bear about these things with no feedback but heck I don’t need opinions. My own is all that counts.

I wonder if my friend will be proud of my newly found skills.

He would often make flippant, facetious remarks and said that was just the way he is, so for those of you who may think I’m serious, well, I’m serious but only partly. I guess he taught me how to be a good wife after all.

To wrap up, I don’t imagine I’ll be needing to worry about what’s causing the rear end noises, not after all the cooking and cleaning experiments I did in it. All I’m going to have to worry about is finding a junk yard.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..

Mayfield Kentucky

I wrote this before the end of the month. But I will be here for a few more days than I thought I was. I’ve been in this area for a couple of weeks. This is the longest I’ve been in any one spot since I was in Gillette, Wyoming two years ago. I still have a few things to do.

A couple of people here started talking to me. One is a worker(he’s starting another job in a few days) and another guy that comes in all the time with another man. Usually, after being in a Mcdonald’s for a few days people that come in often will start talking to me. My experience with Mcdonald’s is the same people will come in all the time. It was the same in Atchison, Kansas. Which I hated having to leave.

As a followup to the last post, I’ll be in this area for a few more days while I get some things done and wait for the first of the month to roll around and leave. I’ve been able to do okay this month with saving money mostly because I’ve stayed in one place alot longer than I did two years ago. Since I really like this particular Mcdonald’s it makes it easier. If I don’t like the place I won’t stay opting to stay longer at a location I like. The next big one is not getting hassled by managers or the police. If that happens that’s my cue to leave.

In fact, one day I came out of walmart where I’ve been parked for several days and saw a manager talking to a trucker that had been parked there for a few days. I walked around the corner to a store and waited for him to leave since I was in no mood to deal with him. Shortly after, the trucker left. Since then, I’ve seen either him or another trucker that works for the same company parked in the lot for a couple of days and just today I saw two from the same company and if I’m not mistaken the same trucker is back but he parked in a different spot than before. Luckily, even though they have no overnight parking signs posted in the lot it doesn’t seem to deter anyone and people park anyway, sometimes for a few days, like me. I also noticed that some of the truckers use the walmart parking lot as a place to park their cars while they’re out on the road. At first, I thought they were just walmart employees parked at the end of the lot but after being here for a few days realized the vehicles belong to truckers. I guess the manager doesn’t notice or doesn’t know.

I make it a practice in most walmart lots to get out as quickly as possible to avoid being noticed but haven’t adhered too well to that policy here mainly because I’ve been sick. Also, no employees park in the area where I do. It’s mainly used by truckers. And employees seeing you sleeping in your car is where the problem comes in. They will alert their bosses who then make a point of coming up to your vehicle as soon as he/she catches you in it. I’m not sure why employees think it’s their business if you’re sleeping in your car especially with the sorry wages they pay them. Personally, I wouldn’t be making enough to tell my boss so he could hassle someone especially someone who has no other place to sleep. And if the person isn’t bothering anyone like myself I don’t see what the problem is.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace….

Murray Kentucky

Update: It turns out the Mcdonald’s in Mayfield has an outlet that doesn’t work. It was so loose I couldn’t get my charger to go in and stay and ended up leaving and going someplace else where I got a little more work done, watched a couple of my lessons and some TV. All in all, not a bad night. The bad news came this morning. I’ve been battling a sinus infection/throat infection for the past two or three weeks and can’t seem to shake it. It just keeps coming and going.

I’ve been waiting to write this post because I don’t generally give the exact location of where I am. This sounds paranoid I’m sure but since I’m living in my car I don’t want anyone to know where I am exactly.

Today started out pretty well with me having lunch at Burger King. I have receipts for a free whopper or chicken sandwich with the purchase of fries and drink. The total came to $3.69 and I certainly can’t beat that. The total varies from place to place depending on taxes. I’ve spent as much as $4.30 but the average is less than $4.00. After my post yesterday about the harmful preservatives they put in fast food, high fat and processed foods I know I should have heeded my own advice and stayed away but I didn’t feel like eating at subway today. I eat there every day.

I had a light day planned. I was going to fax some documents off and go to the library and work awhile on my sites and watch my website lessons then a little TV after I picked up a new pair of earbuds(mine are going bad). But when I got to walmart they were closed because the power is out. It turns out power in the entire city of Murray and some of the county are without power. Apparently a substation went out. They suspect a lightening strike is what caused the outage. Since without power there is also no wifi service I decided to head to a neighboring town in hopes of getting online. I had already called the mcdonald’s in this town a few days ago when I was here and knew they had an outlet albeit only one outlet in the dining room. It’s a much older store than the one in Murray. The one in Murray in either a new restaurant or has been remodelled. Either way, it’s a really nice one with a 24 hour dining room and very comfortable chairs and color coordinated. I will probably have to go back because I still have to fax some stuff and there’s no office supply store here. Sometimes libraries offer fax services but I like self service kiosks. And some truck stops do too.

Once I get in one Mcdonald’s that I really like I hate to leave it in hopes of finding another I will like. The same thing happened in Sikeston/Charleston, Missouri. The Mcdonald’s in Charleston is a new or renovated one and very nice with the same color coordinated chairs that are so appealing in Murray. The downside and the reason I didn’t stay there very long was the fact that I had to drive 15 miles to get to it from the walmart where I parked and that was using too much fuel. I prefer walmart and mcdonald’s to be close to one another eliminating some of the driving and gas wasting. I didn’t get through this month saving as much as I did by driving alot. I’ve had to stay almost two weeks in one town to save on fuel costs.

I was here in this town a few days ago when I came here to get a haircut. These small towns are very lacking when it comes to salons and other things. When I was in Ridgecrest, California I wanted a haircut and had to drive 80 miles to Victorville(not too from San Bernardino) to get one. Otherwise I would have stayed in Ridgecrest. It was a nice little town.

The other day when I got my hair cut she used something she called hair powder. I looked in the stores for something similar but didn’t find anything. She started putting it in my hair before I could say anything. She said it worked really well for short cuts. I don’t like it. It does allow styling similar to hair gels giving it a hair dryer blown look but I still don’t like it. As with most hair products it looks kind of dirty by the next day and feels even dirtier. And with my situation being what it is I don’t need anything that makes me have to wash my hair more especially since most of the walmart’s here don’t have family restrooms. I still wash it. But I don’t like doing it in front of everyone. Not that I have a problem with anyone seeing me but when I’ve been in one walmart parking lot for nearly two weeks I don’t want to do anything that brings attention to myself.

Some videos online suggest using baby powder to make hair look less greasy. I haven’t tried it so I don’t know but I do know it would be messy. I tried that dry shampoo one time and it was so bad I had to run into the truck stop and wash my hair and I thought I’d never get it out. So I’m definitely not a fan although I saw several dry shampoo products the other day in the store. If I can’t wash my hair for a few days sometimes I will use hair gel which works pretty well. It makes it look kind of wet depending on how it’s applied. I don’t usually wet my hair anymore when I apply it. If the scalp is starting to itch I can use a little hair spray(it has a high alcohol content) and it stops it and also dries the hair out a little.

I just now checked to see if power had been restored to Murray and it has been. If I had just waited a couple of hours it would have been back on and I’m sure the Mcdonald’s there is open now that power is on. But I was getting bored staying there anyway not that it matters since I have to stay in this general area a few more days then I will leave and go to my next stop which I’m thinking will only be about 30 or 40 miles depending on whether I like the Mcdonald’s there. Sometimes they aren’t comfortable, sometimes the wifi is no good and sometimes they’re dining room doesn’t stay open long enough. Very, very few have 24 hour dining rooms but they have to at least close at 11 PM for me to be satisfied and be comfortable. If they’re not I’ll look for another. Another thing I like is having the $1 fountain drinks. Some charge $1.60 or more for a small drink. I feel bad if I don’t order something but when it’s higher I will only order a drink once in awhile when I go in but I usually get food before I leave depending on how hungry I am. Some are super busy and don’t really notice if you buy anything or not. And others have a layout where you can sit on the side and they never really notice you. And some don’t care. Very few have time limits on internet access but some do especially out west. They only allow wifi access for an hour while you eat. Now I don’t imagine they can control it if a person sits in their car accessing the internet if they can. I have done this when I was sick and didn’t want to go inside. One such place was in Franklin, Virginia right after I purchased the Impala and I was coughing real bad. They had excellent wifi I was able to access even though I was at the end of the parking lot.

I’ve rambled on long enough about stuff that most people will not find useful but if you happen to be travelling or living in a vehicle you might find it useful.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl-PhotoBlogger5Ve for my old haunted blog and Life990 my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..

Saving Money While Living In A Car

Well, I expect to be in Mayfield, Murray, Benton, Calvert City, Kentucky a few more days. The house my ex husband is rebuilding is almost complete and already with a property manager and this will bring in income. Income that will benefit me and hopefully I won’t be quite as strapped for money as I am now. We won’t clear anything the first month not with all the fees the property management company charges and the reserve that has to be met(that’s a starting fee for repairs). So I know I’m going to have to be very saving for the next month but hopefully after that it won’t be as tight as it is now. I’ve done quite well this month and I’m very surprised as I didn’t do this well two years ago but gas prices are cheaper now than they were then. But I added up how much I would be spending if gas were as high as $3.00 a gallon and still I would have saved more now than I did then. I’m a little stumped. There are however a couple of differences. I’m in a different car but the other car was also a mid sized sedan averaging 20 MPG around town and 30 MPG highway which is about the same as the car I’m in now. But actually the other car got better gas mileage at least on the highway. All in all, about the same. The other difference is I would only put enough fuel in it for one day which averaged about $12.00 a day. I also didn’t stay in one town as long. If I remember correctly I only stayed in one place for 4 or 5 days, maybe a week unless the weather didn’t permit me to leave. This all added up to more gas.

This all said I keep a record of what I’m spending every day and if I feel I’ve spent enough for that day I look for ways to reduce the amount. I still have to eat but I’ll eat one of those tuna or chicken salad packs for a dollar. The salmon ones which I like are $1.78 each at walmart. I always shop at walmart because it’s usually cheaper on the things I buy the most. Sometimes I’m so hungry I end up eating at Mcdonald’s before I leave. I try to eat as cheap and healthy as I can which is usually hot cakes and a hash brown or side salads, sometimes plain english muffins. While writing this I decided to look up the nutrition ingredients again. Aside from the fat which isn’t too bad in the things I eat they do contain ingredients like PDSM(anti foaming agent) which is in shampoos to make hair shiny, caulks, etc. and TBHQ(causes tumors, convulsions, paralysis, etc. in lab rats and also said to affect behavior especially those with ADHD and similar maladies) which is found in paints, varnishes, etc. My conclusion, we may as well start eating paint, soap and spar varnish. Although the FDA says small amounts are safe but statistics are that people who eat high fat diets consume a whopping 180% of what is an acceptable amount. And the average american eats 90% of what is acceptable.

The unfortunate downside is I’m eating this albeit not all the time. I wish there was a healthier wifi hotspot. But I have to say mcdonald’s has good wifi for the most part. I just try not to eat too much of it. Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to avoid everything bad for us because even when we eat nothing but raw vegetables we are still consuming pesticides and insecticides that we all know are bad for us. So to be perfectly honest, nothing is truly safe.

This is one of the downsides of living in a car. I have to eat prepared foods from mostly fast food places. Although I eat at subway most every day so I can get vegetables and eat alot of tuna. In fact, I eat enough fish to float a battleship.

Aside from this fast food is not really cheap but I’m not a big fan of eating in my car. I read online that if you must sleep in your vehicle don’t eat in it too. Another reason for not eating in it all the time and alot of people don’t realize this because most don’t sleep in their cars is that when enough crumbs fall down into the track it will cause failure. I started to notice my last car’s seat starting to act up a little with relatively low miles. My car before that started acting up at 96k miles but didn’t completely fail until 246k(so not a bad run) leaving me to buy another car on the road which wasn’t planned or affordable but with few options since the seat cost $1200 and the shop refused to fix it insisting I’d be better off with a newer, lower miles car. While this is accurate they weren’t the ones paying the monthly car payment or the ones in an upside down loan. This is a whole other story as there’s more to it than just this. But the basic premise is the seat failed, I couldn’t get it repaired and had to buy something else with a loan on it that ended up having my ex husband’s name on it as the primary even though he was never in the dealership. They changed the paperwork he signed. And had him sign it while standing on a street corner in one of his infamous protests and he didn’t have time to read the paperwork. This is all for a different post. Bottom line, it’s not a good idea to eat all the time in a vehicle and spill crumbs down into the seat track especially a power seat.

As for saving money in a car, I’m sure there are others who have better tips than I do. Because most of them suggest eating food from stores but you are very limited in what you can eat because you can eat nothing that will spoil. If you have a van or RV/camper it might be easier.

I ended up off the subject like always and tend to ramble which I try to avoid. I will end for now.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..