EHarmony And Other Online Dating Sites

Recently, I signed up for Eharmony. I signed up for Plenty Of Fish last year but didn’t stay with it. I went back to POF before signing up with eharmony. The main reason for this decision was because the men I was meeting on POF were really only looking for hookups which I’ve no interest in. Some were looking for recreational partners and while there is nothing inherently wrong with that I don’t want to put myself in a position of developing feelings for someone who isn’t on the same page. With any new relationship, there is the risk of not having feelings returned but I see no sense in putting myself in a place where they’re less likely to be returned. Last year I tried OkCupid but found it was primarily for hookups as well(basically men only looking for sex) so I decided on eharmony. I used it once before and didn’t get any matches. Perhaps I didn’t broaden my scope enough. I don’t remember. That was about ten years ago. This time I left it in my country rather than just state.

The downside to eharmony is that most of my matches(and the ones that choose to correspond with me) are at least two hours away which isn’t too bad but most are much farther away. That can be a problem because I’ve no desire for a long distance relationship. Of course, I could meet someone and it could work just fine provided the relationship didn’t pan out for too long a period of time before we make arrangements to live in the same town. I also understand that if I meet someone hundred’s of miles away and we want to make the relationship work that one or both of us may have to move to the other and that person will most likely be me.

Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself here. I’ve just signed up. For now, I’ll focus on the fact that my matches are not in my hometown. When I say hometown, an hour away isn’t a big deal. Even two hours isn’t bad as long as the other person is willing to meet somewhere in between. I travel a lot and love to drive and have the ability to do so. For some people, this will be a big issue. Especially, for those with 9 to 5 jobs and kids. This will hinder them tremendously. The upside to eharmony is they do compatibility matches so you are not wading through the jungle with no direction hoping that whoever you meet will be compatible. Just because you’re matched through an algorithm doesn’t mean that when you meet there will be chemistry and attraction but there is a better chance than doing it on your own.

I was watching a video on youtube from Evan Marc Katz(dating coach) which recommends going on at least one date a week. Your chances of meeting someone for marriage/long term relationship is much better that if you don’t date but a few times a year. I realize now I wasted a lot of time on men that didn’t deserve me and didn’t date nearly enough. If I had met someone ten or fifteen years ago I’m sure I’d be divorced now. I grew up in a dysfunctional home which led to dysfunctional relationships/friendships and now I have to try and undo all of that. And now that I’m nearly 50(I still feel 30, I don’t understand this chronological age thing) it’s a lot harder. Just google women finding love over 50 and the results are dismal so I know I have to be realistic. It’s not going to be as easy as when I was 30.

I can’t stress enough to those women in their 20’s and 30’s that now is the time to start really looking and going on a lot of dates in an effort to find Mr. Right. Even if you don’t want to get married right now if you think one day you will want to have a family then your 20’s is the time to start. By the time you find someone you will be older. As the old saying goes you will probably have to kiss a lot of frogs(you may kiss a few years worth of frogs) before finding the prince. I know many women want to concentrate on careers but finding someone especially as you get older is a full-time job. Besides, I’m of the mindset that you can do both and no one said you have to get into a relationship. In fact, the dating process is about having fun, building your socialization skills, making friends and finding someone for a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there that shouldn’t have been let out of the institution let alone allowed to get into the institution of marriage.

If you grew up in a dysfunctional home, your 20’s is the time to seek counseling. It will be a lot easier to undo the damage at 20 than at 40.

If I could do it over I know I would have spent a lot more time trying to find Mr. Right. The downside is that because my childhood was so dysfunctional followed by dysfunctional relationships that I wouldn’t have been suitable for anyone. Because of this, I lost the opportunity to have children. By the time I met my ex-husband(we were never legally married but lived together for 10 years) at 39 I settled and had long since given up on love. I didn’t know why my relationships didn’t work out. I had no idea what was wrong. It wasn’t until my ex and I went to therapy that she told me that dysfunctional attracts dysfunctional and until I can change that I will never have a healthy romantic relationship. Now I’m working on myself as best I can. My therapist(she’s now retired and I have a new male therapist) told me not to date and stay away from the opposite sex for a minimum of 5 years. I’m not too thrilled with that idea and I know that avoiding dating until I’m 55 or older is also ridiculous. It also sets me up for getting into another bad relationship because I believe long periods of no affection and loneliness lead into these bad experiences.

I’ve decided that I will both. I will work on myself first and meeting someone will be secondary. It could take 5 years to meet the man I’ve wanted my entire life and by then my work will be coming to an end. And I might not meet anyone or I could get into yet another relationship that fails. There’s no way to know what the future holds.

Once again I got way off course from the intended topic of online dating sites. This said it’s too early to say whether I’ll have success or not. So far, I like eharmony better than the others I’ve tried now or in the past. In the past, I’ve used match.com with no success.

Visit my other blogs at 5Ve which is my haunted blog, Haunted Abandoned CarolinasCypress-Willow BlogMy Free Personal Blog and you can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..

Revenge In The 21st Century~Don’t Get Caught

In this post I’m going to talk about how not to get caught when you decide to get revenge. If someone has wronged you they deserve to pay for their bad behavior. That’s my motto. Now some will think I’m immoral and unethical. Maybe I am but I don’t care. I have no problem exacting punishment and as I said in a previous post I’ve never been one to be very forgiving when it comes to being romantically wronged especially when he knew what he was doing. I’m not tolerant of anyone else causing me problems either. How much they’ve hurt you or how much trouble they’ve caused depends on the degree of malice you should enact. You don’t want it to be overkill but you also want them to know they were wrong. Remember however, that some people will never recognize their bad behavior and think you’re psycho. But if you’re like me you don’t care about that but what you don’t want is to get caught. Even on the minor stuff.

Some people use VPN’s that are supposed to be anonymous but may not be. Personally, I prefer wifi hotspots. They usually come up as being nowhere near the actual location you’re at. Of course they may be using a proxy and if they are law enforcement can find out the location. My advice is to play it safe and go at the busiest times such as meal time and friday night and the weekend. You may also want to avoid using anything other than cash. Most places have surveillance and if law enforcement is determined enough they will find out who’s responsible. The last couple of times I’ve chosen to get even with someone I was out of my home state several hundred miles away. Unless you’re doing something particularly extravagant where the FBI would get involved then you have nothing to worry about. The police in the target’s location can’t do anything as it’s out of their jurisdiction and the police in your location aren’t going to fool with it. Another tip, when you access the internet for revenge purposes don’t log in to any of your own accounts. That includes email, anything. Keep it separate. Even wifi isp’s keep log records of everything on their network.

There are dozen’s of wifi hotspots too. My personal favorite is Mcdonald’s. The other very popular one is starbucks. Places like Walmart and Lowes also offer wifi which can be accessed outside in the parking lot if you don’t mind sitting in your car and your device is charged. I have an inverter box in my car that I use when my battery gets low. I avoid using this as much as I can so I’m not idling fuel away. When it was cooler I rather enjoyed sitting in my car writing, researching and blogging. And the good thing about these places is they have an extremely high turnover of people but they have surveillance.

Personally, I like to leave my hometown to exact internet revenge and it gives me the opportunity to take pictures along the way and have fun. If you can’t do that, alter the places you go. Try not to go to the same wifi spot all the time and at the same times. If you do happen to go to a neighboring town for something take the time to do some online pranking if you have time.

Remember that most of what you do is going to be illegal even if you think it’s a harmless prank. At least from the subjects eyes and what they tell the police. Guaranteed if what you do annoys them enough to go to the police the story they tell them will be much worse than what is reality. They will make it worse in hopes of forcing law enforcement to start an investigation and in some cases if their lies are convincing enough they will. Family members will always back them up even if it means lying. They take what their loved one says at face value never taking into consideration it might be a lie.

Before the police can contact you they must have some proof that you are responsible. In some cases police will not follow that protocol and attempt to question you anyway. In such an instance, if it comes to that, your best defense is to point them in the direction of the best, most hateful, nastiest criminal attorney in town. It doesn’t matter that you aren’t a client if it’s just harassing junk mail, derogatory photo-shopped pictures or soliciting phone calls. Of course, if it ever gets to this point it’s time to stop whatever you’re doing.

To wrap up be cautious! Nothing or no one is worth going to jail over.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace….