The inspiration for this post came from an incident this morning at Walmart. And like many of my other stories this one is a doozy although not as outrageous as some. I posted this message on a couple of different forums to garner some feedback.
Ok, I’m not sure if this is where this belongs but I wanted to get some input. Just a little background. I’m currently travelling(Oklahoma) and do all the time for business, etc.
So today in Walmart a guy(20 yrs younger) hits on me. Summed up, “I’m married with 2 kids, wife’s not giving me any so why don’t you give me some? But first, gotta get drugs. My dealer just walked in the store.” This is nothing new. Some are way more outrageous. I’m attractive for late 40’s but this ridiculous. It’s getting worse as I get older. Last yr I had a guy stop me while I was walking and wanted to know if I’d go to his apt with him and one the most outrageous was a guy in Utah who stopped by my car(I was in front of an abandoned building looking at something on my phone), we chat then he asks me to dare him to walk to the building naked. He then gets out of his car and starts taking his clothes off. I wish him well and drive away. Later I tell this to a man I know and he says, “OMG, that is the most outrageous way I’ve heard of a man hitting on a woman. When this happens I’m not smiling, looking around, as if I’m open to even being approached. And I’m not some celebrity model lookalike. And it doesn’t matter what I say, I can say anything, I could say I was satan, no matter how bad, they’re only more enamored. Unfortunately, I don’t attract the right kind in relationships either(but that’s a whole other story and they’re almost, if not more outrageous). So I’m wondering, do I have a neon sign on my forehead? Or does this happen to everyone else too? Or maybe it’s the shock factor….Just trying to understand this behavior. Everyone around me(my therapists especially) think I should write a book. Admittingly, everyone would be rolling in the floor. So, do other women encounter this too?
As expected I didn’t get very many replies. Only on hubpages did I get a couple. I can surmise that other women have never experienced this so have nothing to offer or it does and they don’t wish to discuss it. Either way, I’m thinking I must be some kind of anomaly. The replies I did get pointed out that I must be somehow to blame for these occurrences just as rape victims somehow caused their assault. It was pointed out that walmart is a seedy place therefore I’m encouraging bad behavior by simply being in such an unworthy environment. Or I must have been dressed provocatively to encourage the men.
Does anyone else notice the paradigm here? If you are a woman and you are the subject of bad behavior or worse the victim of a crime then it is somehow your fault. But flip the coin, if this were a man, she would be a crazy b*tch.
Of course, none of this solves my predicament and that is trying to figure out why the oddballs are attracted to me. I am approachable I”ve been told and I’m certainly not going to be rude to men I don’t know. I’m going to be polite as that is the safest route to take. It’s easier to say something they will find a complete turnoff and send them running in the opposite direction or bore them to death although this isn’t easily done with these kinds of men. Just today, when I was in subway getting my sandwich I was chatting with the women that worked there and one accurately pointed out, there are alot of cuckoo(her words) people around. The other was hit on a man 20+ years older than she, a man she had no interest in and told him a pile of BS(she had 5 or 6 kids, multiple divorces, etc.) but it was no deterrent. These kinds of men aren’t easy to get rid of.
I also wonder if it could be the shock factor or perhaps there’s another motive or it’s that I just attract weirdos. Whatever it is, I’ve no answers.