When A Soulmate Has Already Died

For awhile now I’ve been wondering if it’s possible if my soulmate(the one true person for me) has already died. I found an interesting article Is Your Soulmate Already Dead that seems to think so. It makes sense, for those people that never seem to find happiness and instead a flurry of failed relationships or can’t find love at all.

I’m one of those unfortunate people that, as my aunt put it, couldn’t find a good man if my life depended on it. Whether this is because he died before I met him I can’t say. It’s an idea that I’ve pondered for awhile now. Is it really possible?

In the article the author says if you find yourself repeating relationship situations then there’s a good chance this may be a past life experience. This could be true but there’s a much more plausible explanation and it’s quite simple. You’re repeating dysfunctional relationship patterns and of course they feel familiar. The new person in your life is like the last one that didn’t work out and until you can figure out how to stop attracting dysfunctional and attract someone who’s functional and ready to be in a relationship, you’re going to continue with the same problems over and over again. Unfortunately, it’s isn’t easy to pinpoint your problem areas and sometimes even harder to attract the right kind of person. Once you get into a cycle it’s hard to break. It’s easy to go back to what’s familiar and comfortable. But even when you do change key areas and are ready to meet the right kind of person it can be difficult. Even when you are entirely functional you may still keep meeting the wrong kind. Therapists will tell you, “dysfunctional attracts dysfunctional.” I don’t disagree with this statement. But they will follow with, “it will take 3 to 5 years to fix yourself(as if you’re an automobile) before you should even consider dating. This is what my last therapist told me. And that means 5 years worth of fees for them. Whether you’re actually fixed or even needed fixing is another matter and whether you will actually meet Mr. Right when the therapy ends is an even bigger IF. Of course every therapist is different. My current therapist told me to embrace the instability and distractions were a good time filler. These distractions keep you from thinking about your situation and what it is you actually want. He didn’t say the last part but this is what you’re doing. It keeps you from getting as frustrated as you would otherwise be. The truth is, therapists don’t really know the answer and when all else fails they blame your parents. If the parents are dead this is especially useful. It’s Mom and Dad’s fault you’re failing at love. Continually failing at love is not only heartbreaking, it’s stressful and keeps you from being as healthy as you should be. Statistics say people live longer and healthier when they have companionship. It’s nice to have affection and love but we don’t all find it. It’s like winning the lottery. Some do, some don’t. It’s the love lottery. Sometimes you spend 5 dollars to win one dollar. Those are the failed, dysfunctional relationships and you wish you’d kept your five bucks. After all, you could have bought a latte and saved yourself a mountain of heartache.

I believe people can live just as long and healthy as their married counterparts. It’s all how they handle their situation. It’ can be extremely frustrating to want something that you can’t seem to find. But people that are happy alone have found other things to fill their lives. Distractions that keep them too busy to think about Mr/Ms Right.

There comes a time when you either accept your situation of not meeting the right one and move on or dwell in it. This is more unhealthy than not having a companion.

Accepting that your soulmate is either not out there or more likely died before meeting is to a degree comforting. It doesn’t give you that affection and love you desire and crave. But it can give you peace.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with me. I’m kind, loyal, loving and a good person. There’s absolutely no reason that any man should have rejected me. There’s no reason I should have always attracted addicts, alcoholics and abusers but I do. I don’t even have to speak and I still attract Mr. Wrong. It’s like I have a neon sign attached to my forehead begging the wrong man to beckon. I’m sure I’m not the only woman or man who’s faced this situation. Quite honestly, I believe this to be partly a breakdown in our society. I also think some areas have a higher incidence of crappy men. But mostly it’s society. I also believe the most people who reject an otherwise good candidate doesn’t want a good person. They can put it down to chemistry or whatever they want but they really don’t. And my theory for the reason why is if they accept a good person(one who will be faithful, loyal, loving and there for them) they can no longer be a victim. As long a person only accepts bad relationship candidates(ones who cheat, lie, stab them in the back)  they can continually be a victim. Most people like being victims. They get sympathy. If they accept someone better they won’t get that pity. It sounds crazy but this is the conclusion I’ve come to.

What this means for you. Provided your soulmate is still breathing, is when you meet new people and find out their last relationship ended because of cheating, lying, etc. is to run away. There’s always a chance this could be the one but more than likely it’s going to be another heartache. First, if he/she divulges that he/she was cheated on, lied to, etc. this is good indicator that the cheater still has power over him/her and until that power is vanquished(the first thing about his/her last relationship isn’t he/she cheated) this person will not be ready for a new relationship. This must be resolved. When it is he/she will only say the relationship didn’t work out. This isn’t withstanding that a person can lie but most don’t because they garnish compassion when they talk about their cheating ex spouses. The same goes for all other dysfunctionalities such as addictions, etc.

To wrap up. it may or may not be true that if you’re continually meeting the wrong one that he/she may have died already. If he/she did then there’s the possibility you will meet in the afterlife. This isn’t much of a comfort when you really want someone to put his arms around you but it’s better than the alternative which is to think that there’s simply no one out there for you. Or you may meet in a future life and finally get the love you always craved. The truth is, most people have that special someone out there for them and either you aren’t looking hard enough or they really did die already. It isn’t hard for most people to meet their soulmate. Most people just do but when you don’t there’s a very real possibility that he/she died before you could meet.

I visit alot of cemeteries to take pictures and sometimes I wonder if my soulmate is buried in one of them. This is a very real possibility.

The one good piece of advice I offer is to know that all those people that rejected you are the ones losing out. Not you. They decided for whatever reason they didn’t want someone who would love them and be loyal. They’re stupid. And you don’t want a stupid person. They’d rather have cheaters, liars, addicts, abusers, alcoholics, people that treat them badly, etc. You don’t want this. You are a good person. You deserve love just like everyone else. You’re too good for most people out there. This may seem self centered but being open and loving didn’t work and your soulmate is probably in a graveyard somewhere so it’s a matter what kind of attitude you have.

Visit my other sites at 5VeHaunted Abandoned Carolinas and My Articles…….

Old Cemeteries, The Paranormal Morphed Into Personal Post

What was supposed to be a post about old cemeteries and on my blog Haunted Abandoned Carolinas turned out to be mostly a bunch of ramblings and talking about the paranormal. I have no idea now which cemetery that picture was taken in. I’m going to assume it’s one in Missouri, however.

Today I wasted alot of time driving around and never did find anything I really wanted to stop and photograph. My head really wasn’t with it.  It was more about the driving than anything else. Finally, I realized I needed to fax some documents off and needed to find an office supply store. Had to drive thirty miles to find what I was looking for.

There’s an old cemetery that is allegedly haunted in the area I was in but by the time I got done it was getting late and the traffic was getting bad and I decided to just forget it. I usually find cemeteries I want to photograph by simply driving on U.S. or state highways rather than interstates or looking them up online. They may not necessarily be haunted but many are quite beautiful.

I’m still trying to get my head together after the last post about striking out without anyone. I’ve never really had any one. I mean NO ONE. No one to talk to, no one to turn to, no one to get advice from, no one to share things with and that is a very difficult concept. It’s not easy to strike out having no one and knowing there’s no one but yourself to rely on. I’ve always had to rely on just myself but having no one to talk to about anything is not easy. But that’s what I’m faced with. And like with all loss there’s grief. For me, there’s still the lagging grief of losing my parents probably because they’re the only family I had. The loss of a place to live, I lost that a few months ago but it’s still with me, the loss of a friend I care alot about and coming to the realization that it’s time to let this one go. Like with all male/female relationships sooner or later they have to come to an end. When they’re friendships you can keep them alot longer sometimes but when a new man or woman comes into the persons life it’s time to let it go. Not too many women or men appreciate their spouses/significant others having opposite sex friendships unless they too want to pursue a friendship with the person. While I have no statistics on this I’m pretty sure most people expect those friendships to come to an end. Afterall, the friend is entering a new chapter in his/her life and it doesn’t usually include past opposite sex friendships especially if those friendships were originally boyfriend/girlfriend relationships that didn’t work out for whatever reason.

I’ve lost other things too but these are the big ones, the ones that mean the most and the ones I have to let go of the most. But facing the world living off the grid and mobile with no family, no friends and no one to turn to is an arduous, demanding task. It’s one I’m not sure I’m up to but it’s also something that has to be concluded like it or not.

So what does all this have to do with old cemeteries? Other than the concept that my soulmate might be buried in one. Well, really nothing, other than the fact it’s what keeps me going. As I said in the last post I’m not sure what’s leading me in this direction once more. I’ve always had an interest in cemeteries and have been photographing them for awhile. Back in the summer, I would try to find one every night to have communion with the dead and take pictures. But let me be clear, I don’t go to cemeteries trying to contact the dead. I simply go there to be at peace and take pictures. The bible strictly prohibits communion with the deceased. Not that if I wanted to do so I would pay it much attention but I do believe in the ability to open doorways to other dimensions and since I have no way to know what might come through that portal I feel it best for my own safety and peace of mind to leave it alone and discourage it for those who think it’s a good idea.

This is one reason I’ve declined several offers to become a part of paranormal groups. I believe in the supernatural but I don’t believe in contacting the spirits in an effort to banish them. When a place is truly haunted how do I know if the spirits that inhabit it’s halls are that of the deceased that once lived there or more sinister entities? In essence how do I know these apparitions aren’t really demons?

Science says ghosts do not exist and you will find no scientist that supports it. Biblical scholars and religious people alike don’t support it instead stating emphatically that what is being seen are demons pretending to be the deceased. This may be true and it might not be. There is no scientific proof to support either theory. Until then, people are going to come down on whatever side their heart, upbringing, science and/or the bible tells them.

Until then, I’m just going to enjoy photographing cemeteries and be wary in those that are said to be haunted.

Visit my other blogs at Haunted Abandoned CarolinasSassygrrl32-PhotoBlogger5Ve which is my old haunted blog and Life990 which is my old personal blog. You can read my articles at Hubpages. Peace…..